How to Feel
by Xxreverie
Summary: By the heightened feeling of the wind on her face, she knew the wetness on the sides of her lips were tears. Yet, she didn't dare close her eyes. She would see past the blurry river that never seemed to drain, for if she closed her eyes, she might lose what she had lost so long ago.


She didn't know how to feel.

However, in her mind it wasn't a matter of if she was capable of feeling, but only which feeling she should choose.

She wasn't even sure if what she was seeing was real or not. Maybe it was apparition. She had imagined this scene a million times in a haunting day dream, yet this instant felt so tangible it had to be real. Her heart felt so alive. Her lungs filled with air like she was breathing. Her eyes wide open, never blinking.

Frozen, she stood off to the side near the corner of the market. A bundle of dropped apples lay on the ground around her ankles. And it was as if time had stopped completely. Right then. Right there.

The chaos of the market had seized. The screams of the crying baby in the arms of the cloth merchant were drowned out by the roaring beat of her heart. The rhythmic pulsing so loud, she placed her hand over her chest to hush its song.

A tickle sensation slithered down her cheek. By the heightened feeling of the wind on her face, she knew the wetness on the sides of her lips were tears. Yet, she didn't dare close her eyes. She would see past the blurry river that never seemed to drain, for if she closed her eyes, she might lose what she had lost so long ago. Or worse- she might wake up.

A sudden wave of nausea swept over her with the intent to drown. She was almost knocked to her knees, but her will to imprint this image in her mind kept her firmly planted. She would never forget this moment.

She began to sluggishly move her eyes down the side of the black silk-like locks of the distanced stranger. Cut off just near his sculpted shoulders, hues of blue and purple revealed themselves from the sun's worship. His broad back was sinfully covered in a traditional black robe that opened in a V, showing his solid chest and rigid collar bones. Decorating his waist was a long, slender sword protected in an artistically detailed black stained sheath. Besides a belt of eminence, a single red ribbon tied around his sword was the only color he fashioned. However, this lack of color did nothing to pale his illuminating brilliance. It only helped amplify his effortless magnetism. A minimalistic beauty, only the gods could have crafted.

He possessed the posture of humble royalty, not demanding attention, nor lacking buoyance. She had only known such _perfection _when she was younger, and it was so long ago.

Her breaths came in fastened pants, and her body began to tremble despite the comfortable temperature.

And again, everything held still. As she gazed upon this strangers face, she had seen _his_ face. The face of her own heart, when her purity and innocence was still in existence. Her old self she destroyed years ago, hoping never to be so careless with her feelings ever again. She was staring at the one regret she ever possessed, and she was crying for the past because her fate was sealed in the future.

Moist lips parting, she breathed his name in the wind. And with that breath, she beseeched her sorrow, wishing it away to leave her in peace.

Alas, she stood still, unable to move.

A faint murmur grew louder and louder until her attention was unwillingly torn away by a familiar voice.

"mommy?"

By a slight turn of the neck, through hooded eyes still shedding their life, she looked down upon the small boy who was currently tugging her hand. She studied his face with a feeling of concealed longing. What she longed for exactly would never be spoken, but in her heart she would always wonder.

Through his blonde bangs, his soft aero blue eyes were searching her face, holding curiosity and innocence. And she was then reminded of the life she chose to take and the love she chose to follow.

And right then, she was happy. She was perfectly happy.

Shifting her eyes back to the tomato stand, no stranger stood. Villagers leisurely ventured in and out between the kiosks filling their arms with food for their family. Everyone looked content and serene. It was just another normal day as the sun gifted the earth with its warmth.

And slowly, bit by bit, a smile began to form on her lips. She had seen _him_, and now she felt closure. It was an ending to a beginning that never found its start.

And she was happy. Because he lived, she was happy.

Releasing the old breath she had held ever since the night _he_ left her, a fresh life illuminated her green eyes. Wiping her old memories from her cheeks, she reached down to squeeze the hand of the one who would always hold her fractured heart.

Smiling down to her meaning of existence, she whispered, "Come on my love, my Sasuke. Let's go find your father."

* * *

Special thanks to **Vernacia **and** winterrose019 **for reviewing _With You_, and giving me motivation to continue writing!

**NOTES**: This is from Sakura's point of view as an adult. Also, if you didn't figure it out, she is married to Naruto and they have a son they named Sasuke. (I cried multiple times writing this—gosh I'm pathetic) The back story is that Sasuke, after joining forces again with the leaf, at the end of the war disappeared. It was concluded that he had died and after several years of Sakura and Naruto searching for him with no results or rumors of sightings, the search was terminated. However, he did survive but wanted to live and experience the lonely life his brother had suffered after his sacrifice. He continued to protect the leaf, but as a single ninja in the shadows. And although he never voiced his feelings, the red ribbon tied around his sword was Sakuras headband when she was a child. (Ugly crying) Wahhhhhhh, he loved her, but he wanted to punish himself. STUPID IDIOT. BAKA! Oh, by the way—**I don't own Naruto.**

I hope this story touches you like it touched me. My soul has to recover after writing this.


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